Building self confidence is not something that happens over night. According to How to be more Confident, self confidence is a mixture of your ability to complete a task (self-efficacy) and your self esteem. Often these two work together to determine your overall self confidence. And one of the best ways to build your self confidence is to set goals and achieve them…
Think about it… self confidence stems from how comfortable we are in completing a task. Rather it be giving a speech, talking to more people, making friends, working at a new job, or anything else you may have to do in life… Your self confidence in that specific activity will either be high or low. And the only way to become more confident in a task is to get better at it.
So, setting goals in whatever task you have low confidence in, is a great way to start building your self confidence in that area.
Building Self Confidence: Small Wins
Want to know how to be confident in yourself?… First set out to do small tasks that you’ve been avoiding1… Make a to do list, actually write everything out. For example, cleaning tasks or repairing tasks around the house.
By first accomplishing small wins, you’ll start building self confidence in your ability to finish goals. This will build up your momentum which will allow to take on larger goals. It’s recommended that you get a few small wins under your belt before moving onto the big goals in your life.
Building Self Confidence: S.M.A.R.T. Goal Setting
Did you know that many unsuccessful people don’t set goals? However, the most successful people in the world set goals regularly and even write it down. It’s nice that you may be thinking about what you want to achieve, but it becomes more real when you take the time to write it down.
By writing down your goals, you will not only be building confidence but also start becoming more successful in life. And one of the best ways to outline goals is through a method called S.M.A.R.T. Goals…. S.M.A.R.T. stands for Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time-bound2.
As you go through how to set S.M.A.R.T. Goals, think about something you want to change in your life. What’s something that has been bothering you? Is there a problem currently in your life? What’s something that you want to change in your life? What do you keep telling yourself needs to happen?
For our example, we’ll talk about weight loss because many people want to lose weight and weight loss often effects our self image which also shows up in our confidence. Most people will probably say something like: “My goal is to lose weight.” Well… let’s run that goal through the S.M.A.R.T. Goals process…
Specific: Just wanting to lose weight is a little too vague. We need to get more specific. So instead of saying “I want to lose weight”, we say “I want to lose 20 pounds”. So, during this step we need to get specific about what we want to accomplish.
Measurable: Being measurable means that you’ll know rather or not you were able to achieve your goal. Additionally, by being measurable, we can look at the goal’s progress at any time and see how close you are to achieving your goal. We already said we want to lose 20 pounds in our example so the pounds lost will be our measurement.
Achievable: Can you really achieve your goal? By making sure your goal is achievable, you will not drive yourself crazy trying to complete your goal and it won’t ruin your confidence level. Losing 20 pounds is very achievable for someone that’s overweight. Yet, if you’re not overweight and already pretty small, losing 20 pounds may not happen.
Realistic: Are you really determined to accomplish your goal? You need to take into account what resources you have available and what are you willing to do to accomplish your goal. If you don’t want to exercise or eat right, then your weight loss goal may not be very achievable. Or maybe you can start losing weight by eating healthy only for a while and later including exercise. Determine right now what you are willing to do to accomplish your goal.
Time-bound: You need to set a deadline to your goal. Make sure to set a deadline that is reasonable and motivating. If it’s too soon, it may be unrealistic. If it’s too far in the future, you will not be motivated to work toward it. In our example, losing 20 pounds in a month might be unrealistic… Yet losing 20 pounds in 3 months may work out great.
So here’s how our example would change… from “My goal is to lose weight.” to “I want to lose 20 pounds in 3 months by eating right and exercising.” Now you have a specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and time-bound (SMART) goal with built-in tasks to get you there. And more importantly, you’ve made a promise to yourself. It’s the keeping of that promise, more than the attainment of this or any goal, that is building your self confidence.
Additionally, although not stated in the SMART goals above, it’s important that you Research, Plan, and Take Action on what you know to achieve your Goal. A lot of times, you may not know how to achieve your goal, so make sure to do research online, in books, or by asking friends what you can do.
How to be Confident in Yourself: Tips
While building your self confidence by setting S.M.A.R.T. Goals will help you in your daily life, it may not always be easy. Here are a few things to taken into account as you’re working on your goals.
Take Small Steps: When making goals, don’t aim for the moon if you never had any experience in what you’re trying to do. Instead, make the goal small enough at the beginning so that you know you can achieve it. As you go along successfully achieving your goals, you’ll build your self confidence and will then be able to reach for bigger goals.
Failure Is Not a Bad Thing: The only people who do not fail are those who never try. There are several quotes about self confidence that mention how they failed over and over but they kept moving forward. Yes, it sucks and you may not know what to do for a while. Yet, you need to pick yourself up, learn from the failure, and keep moving forward.
Break Up Your Goals: When making goals make sure to break them up by how long it may take to accomplish. Some people may have 10 year, 5 year, 2 year, 1 year, monthly, weekly, and daily goals. This way it doesn’t look like you have to do everything at once and therefore fail to even start.
Give Yourself Credit3: Just starting a goal can be difficult. Rather or not you accomplish your goal doesn’t always matter. As you’re building self confidence, it’s important to realize that taking action is the most important part to becoming more confident. Give yourself credit, no matter what the end result may be.
Take Action: Sometimes you may not know everything you need to know in order to accomplish your goals and that’s OK… Imperfect action is better than no action at all. As mentioned before, make mistakes, learn from the mistakes, and keep moving forward. Your self confidence will grow even faster by doing this because you’ll be resolving problems.
1. How To Build Self Esteem With Small Wins And Daily Goals. http://youget1shot.hubpages.com/hub/How-To-Build-Self-Esteem-With-Small-Wins-And-Daily-Goals
2. Setting Goals for Self Esteem. http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/self-esteem-goals
3. Go for your goals and gain confidence. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/think-confident-be-confident/201106/go-your-goals-and-gain-confidence